Lily Luna Potter
by DerangedDolphinofMagic
Summary: Lily has been cutting for a while now. I'm sorry I don't really know how to describe this. Read if you want and review. It's suicidal, I guess. I just wrote and it flowed out.


**AN: Hi! So, I wrote this in summer pe and then I haven't really been inspired to continue it, so it leaves off rather abruptly. I may add to it later, maybe not. Sorry about any errors. I don't own anything really.**

"You're too fat." I made a cut. "He was just doing it because of your father." Cut. "You aren't a good prankster." Another cut. "She doesn't have any problems." Cut. "Her brother's are better." Another cut. "She just wants to party." Cut. "Why doesn't she play quidditch?" "She's a disgrace." She'd been doing this for a while now, nearly a year. And no one has noticed. She still put up the carefree front that once has been her, but now it was what they expected and what she showed them. Not a girl who heard what was whispered in the corner, not one who'd been cheated on twice, not one who was broken inside. Adults and some of the other students thought that she had everything and was stuck up and snobbish by throwing it away. That wasn't the truth. It seemed that since she had a pretty face and was the daughter of the boy-who-lived, she was subject to even more teasing than an average student. She would like to think that James would have noticed and come to her aid, but he hadn't at all. He was just as fooled as everyone else. Albus seemed to notice something amiss, but probably attributed it to her recent breakup with yet another boy. She had even managed to fool her parents for the most part. Her mother was worried about her, but her dad just put it off as being a teenager. Teddy would probably notice, but he was off in France with Victorie, having graduated last year. Only Lucy and Roxanne knew, and she had made them swear not to tell anyone. She was fine. See? She was even fooling herself. But she didn't want the attention that others knowing what she did would bring. She wrapped up her arm in a bandage that the school robes hid so well. What would she do this summer when she would be expected to wear summer dresses and short sleeves. Maybe someone else would discover it by then, like James, Albus, or Hugo? But then what? She wanted to escape but she didn't know how. She sighed, looked in the mirror and put on her "Lily-Luna-Potter-who-doesn't-study-but-gets-good-grades" face. She had class to attend.

Chris was snogging another girl today. She breaks up with him one day and the next he's snogging a different girl. As if he didn't care. Maybe what they said about him being with her for her father was true. She had actually liked him and he seemed to like her, but while she was cracked because of him, he didn't seem to care. Lucy froze when she noticed them in the hall. They weren't even trying to hide it really. Roxanne started to ask why we had stopped but I didn't hear her as I fled to the bathroom. I took out a razor and unwound the bandage on my arm. My cuts from this morning still weren't healed, but I didn't care. I usually took care not to press to hard, but I didn't care right now. I watched my tears mix with the blood to form a horrifyingly beautiful picture of pain. I was pulled back to my senses some when I realized it had started to drip on the floor. I had never cut deep enough for that to happen. I had to stop. I wrapped up my arm in the old bandage. I couldn't do it. I dropped the knife and left the bathroom in a haze. I wasn't sure where I was going until I found myself on the astronomy tower. I stepped up to the edge. I could stop the pain, I just had to take another step. "Lily!" I heard a voice cry. They sounded familiar. I shuffled closer to the edge. I was going to do it. Then I felt the arms around me. Not soft or hungry or loving like most of the arms that came around me, but hard, like they were expecting to be tested. "Lily, I am taking you to Albus." I recognized that voice now. It was Scorpius, Albus' friend. I think he had a crush on Rose. Albus, I thought, I would have never seen him again. I started crying as I realized what I had been about to do. It would have been a weird sight, Scorpius carrying me bridal style as I cried onto his chest, but everyone was at classes so the hallways were deserted. He must have had a free period, I thought. I knew that older students had them. I didn't look to see where we were going. I heard him say something but it didn't register what it was. I felt myself being set into a bed and someone was tay to me. It's Albus. I must be in the Slytherin dormitories, maybe on his bed. I didn't care. I saw Albus through my teary eyes and lunged at him. He seemed frightened for a moment, but I just hugged him and latched onto him as it he were a lifeline, which in a way, he was. He started rubbing my back lightly. It was reassuring. I realized that Albus had stopped rubbing my back and was trying to get me to look at him. I lifted my head out of his chest to look him in the eye. I saw his lips move, but I don't know what he said. I just nodded. When I rubbed my eyes, I noticed that my bandage had started leaking. With my arms still around him, Albus started walking I followed him out of their common room and upstairs. I didn't pay attention to where we were walking, keeping my head buried in his side. The classes ended as students started pouring into the halls, but I barely registered it. We were near the entrance to the Gryffindor common room when I started to look where we were going. People were staring so I shoved my face back into Albus' side. Albus started asking about the password but I didn't trust myself to talk. I don't know how we got in, maybe the fat lady let us in, maybe another student. I heard him calling James. "Where's her bed?" Albus asked. James responded for me that they won't be able to get in. "Let's use mine, we can all go there," James suggested. Albus followed him up the stairs, me still clinging to him. Albus and I sat in the bed while James stood before us. "What happened?" James asked.

"I don't entirely know, but Scorp told me that he found her about to jump of the astronomy tower," Albus explained while looking at me. "Why? I know that you were dating Chris and that you broke up, but why this?" I shrug my shoulders helplessly. I really don't know. A drop of blood runs out of my sleeve and stands on my hand. I stare at it. Albus notices it first, as James is pacing in front of his bed, and gasps. James stop pacing to look at us, but Albus doesn't pay him any attention. He rolls up my sleeve, revealing the bandage, which has turned red near the bottom. "Lily," he whispers softly as he starts to unwind it. I don't look at it, my bloody scars on display for all to see.

"Lily Luna Potter, you bloody idiot!" I hear a snap followed by more cursing and whimpering. "James, why don't you go see Madam Pomfre while I go clean up her arm," Albus softly suggests. I look at James. He's cradling his hand and looks ready to argue. "Please," he adds.

James sighs, knowing that's the smartest thing to do. "I'll tell the other guys not to come in." Thank you James, I think. He goes out and closes the door. Albus, still with his arm around me, walks to the bathroom and carefully removes my robe. I have on the normal school uniform of shorts and a skirt underneath. He gently removes the rest of the bandage and starts to wash off the blood. As he wipes off the blood, scars start to appear. The longer he wipes, the angrier he seems, but he still stays calm. My most recent ones are nowhere near closed. I look at them closely. They're deeper than I thought they were. When all the blood is gone, he goes and washes the bandage in the sink and dries it with his wand. He carefully wraps it back up. When he's done, he holds my wrists in his hands. "Lily, is there anything else that you should or need to tell me? Please. I just want to help." I shake my head. He frowns. "Lily, I want you to promise me that you won't do this or anything like it again. Please." My voice chokes as I tell him I'll try. He seems still sad, but I think that he knows that that's the best he is going to get. "Thank you" my voice comes out in a whisper as he hugs me. James comes in then carrying some food "I figured you might be hungry since this started during lunch." I nod as he hands me a plate filled with food. I pick at it some, trying to eat, but nearly starving yourself for half a year makes it hard to eat a lot. But if I don't eat, they'll be even more worried. I cut up the food, trying to make it look like I did eat. "I'm not really hungry," I say after eating all that I possibly can keep down, I may not even be able to do that.

"Are you sure?" Albus asked me concerned. I nod, and James comes to my rescue saying that it was probably pretty crazy and that I'll probably be hungry later. "Is there anything else you want?" Albus asks me, not looking convinced.

"Can I go to bed? I'm tired."

"Okay" Albus says. "I'll try to have someone wake you up for dinner."

As I stagger down the stairs, I am glad that its still class time. That means no one to ask questions.


End file.
